The title of this post was one of my nana's favorite expressions. She would stand in her kitchen with her hand on her hip and look straight in the mirror at herself (she had a large mirror in her kitchen!) and say with determination, "I tell you, me..." Then she would launch into some issue she had with something or someone, some beef she needed to get off her chest. Inevitably she would start to laugh because everything my nana did always ended with a good belly laugh. She was a great lady and I miss her.
So imagine me right now with my hand on my hip, looking straight past you and talking to myself in the mirror... "I tell you, me... I am SO annoyed right now by the fact that I can't go and eat at a restaurant without having to opt for, basically, lettuce. Since I am on a limited diet while breast-feeding due baby G's dairy and soy sensitivities, menu options reduce dramatically. "Here is your leaf of lettuce, ma'am. Hope you enjoy it." Ugh! Lettuce.
The reason all this is coming to the surface--the girls and I have to hit the town for a few final errands before the boys get home. Among the errands we have to accomplish is a trip by a local chain restaurant to pick up a gift certificate for a friend. "Hey," I thought to myself, "Why don't we just stay for dinner and enjoy a final meal together. That would be fun!" (Yes, my thoughts even had an exclamation point! I was excited by this prospect--dinner out with the girls!) This restaurant happens to be one of my favorites, but GG has had a few bad meat experiences there, so we usually don't choose to eat there as a couple. This would be the perfect chance to enjoy a meal with him out-of-town.
Being the dutiful, breast-feeding mother I am (ahem), I went ahead and looked on the restaurant's website to find out allergen information before heading out. You'd be surprised what random things have dairy and soy (pretty much everything, but, oh yes, lettuce.) Just the other day I was making myself some hot tea and thought to randomly check the ingredients just to be sure. Soy lecithin. It's an emulsifier and it's in everything. Some babies don't seem bothered by it, but baby G still has blood in her stool, so we're trying.
So I pulled up the allergen menu and looked through the items recommended for people avoiding dairy. It looked nice and there were still a good amount of options from which to choose. Great. Then I scrolled down to the list for people avoiding soy. There were literally, probably ten items listed there. Ten. And many of them were extras like pico de gallo and guacamole. Then I did the unthinkable and cross referenced the two lists. Guess what. I could have a burger without a bun or fries or onion rings, but (you guessed it) lettuce. It would be a burger sitting on an empty plate with a piece of lettuce and maybe some ketchup. I'm splitting at the sides, it's so annoying. It almost makes me want to log off and open a can of hypoallergenic formula. Almost. I am annoyed for two seconds.
Then as I type I hear my sweet little one upstairs and she's awoken and is crying for her mama. And all my annoyances melt away. Because she's totally worth it. She's worth years and years of life without dairy and soy. She's worth plates and plates of plain burgers with just lettuce. Having the chance to breast-feed her is such a privilege and knowing I'm boosting her little immune system and providing for her is second-to-none. It makes her strong and healthy and have a happy life and that gives me life. All of my angels are worth any and every sacrifice I could ever offer.
For I am called to live out His legacy, to abandon myself in this life for others, namely my children and family, friends, even strangers. It's not about me and never has been. To God be the glory in all circumstances, especially petty ones involving food allergies, chain restaurants, and lots and lots of lettuce.
2 comments:
Your words bring tears...and then laughter, and then tears again. What a precious mom you are!!! To give up fries for lettuce surely is a sacrifice which shows true love!!
It is worth it! And her intestine will mature in no time. The next time I pass on a donut, I'll say a prayer for you in these months of deprivation. Love you!
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