Check your motherly expectations at the door.

Alternative Title: The Almost Splash Park

Today we ventured south of the river to enjoy an outdoor mall that has a fountain splash park within...  Such a great way to get moms and families out to enjoy the water (and the shopping! :)  Last year, we went to the same place with lackluster results--M wouldn't go anywhere near the water!  So, one year later, I had high hopes for his and T-baby's greater enjoyment.  

Sadly, the results were not much better.  Both boys lingered off to the side for much of our time there, only later wandering closer because of some Panera cups (for catching water) we brought from lunch.  Woe to a mother's expectations!!

While I know it was a simple outing with simple hopes, I had expectations nonetheless.  And I was disappointed.  Just chalk it up to another lesson learned in motherhood: sometimes my kids are not going to act/behave/enjoy things the way I hope they will.  Take, for instance, last summer's trip to the beach and M's sheer terror of the merry-go-round (and any other ride at the boardwalk carnival.)  I was shocked and so disappointed with the outcome.  How could my child be the scaredy-cat?  I jumped off the high dive in kindergarten and rode the Demon Drop later that summer!!  How could the offspring of such a whirling dirvish mother end up so timid?  Expectations, expectations...

And yet I am forced to swallow my pride, love my precious boys in all their eccentricities and individualities, and move on-- the true essence of motherhood.  By unconditionally loving my children, I am called upon to do just that--love them in every and any condition and essentially, without condition.  They are my boys and they are perfect as is.

No doubt these expectations, hopes, disappointments, and failures will surface again.  School performance, college acceptances, life choices...  

Yes, they are all waiting to be celebrated...  

No matter what the outcome.

Bebe Au Lait

Some of you have heard me go on and on about how much I love the Bebe Au Lait nursing covers.  They are the coolest and I plan to snatch one up soon in prep for our wee one's arrival.

Just wanted to put a quick shout out for them again in the hopes that Gasperini-Ville will be one of the lucky blogs to receive a *free* cover just for advertising!  Wish me luck!  And happy nursing to all you chic, modest mamas out there! :)

The Next Starbucks Generation

Today confirmed what I'd been fearing all along-- my kids are becoming the next generation Starbucks addicts! All because their mother loves it so. :)

At lunchtime, we pulled up to our closest and dearest Starbucks as M jubilantly stated, "Let's get some coffee!" Then, as we drove around to the drive-thru window and the lady handed me my drink, M shouted, "I'd like Americano too." The lady cracked up, to which I replied, "Yes, I've officially influenced the next Starbucks generation." My love of a nonfat, decaf Americano with two Splenda has rubbed off--M loves it too!! Lord, help us! :)

There is just something about pulling up and placing my order; something about the feeling of the cup in my hand; something about that logo that makes me feel stupendous and ready to take on the world! lol. Oh commercialism--together we've already ruined my children! :)

Oh well, I guess in this journey of motherhood, there are far worse influences than a cup of joe. The only thing I'm dreading is the price tag of two future Americanos! :)

God bless you today and God bless Starbucks!

Forgetting Something

It is a beautiful day here in Gasperini-Ville as we rejoice in the new life of our "sweet baby J"! You'll have to ask me in person about his precious new name!

The sun is shining and the temperatures promise to boast near 60F. Pinch me, are we still in the midwest? The Lord is definitely showing us His mercy!

To celebrate the beauty of the day, I promised the boys a trip to feed the ducks, which soon turned into a trip down the street to our neighborhood park. It was all I could muster while also toting our large yellow lab.
We busied ourselves getting ready...
*2 boys dressed
*2 pairs of socks/2 pairs of shoes, tied
*2 pb & j sandwiches
*2 drink cups with juice and water
*1 apple cut up and placed in a tupperware
*1 diaper changed/1 toddler to the potty
*2 coats and 2 zippers
*2 boys in the wagon with two strap snaps
*1 dog with 2 collars
*1 set of car keys
*1 jacket for mom, laden with cell phone for emergency
*1 lock on the door...
And we were off.

Only for us to get about 200 yards down the street when this prego mama realized she had forgotten something.
A big something.
What about mom's trip to the bathroom? Oops!
Don't worry, I just have a baby sitting on my bladder.

I am happy to report, though, I made it... to the playground and back; just in time.

PARENTING: one of the most selfless ventures a person can take in life-- even sometimes requiring the denial of bladder. :) lol.

God bless you today!

Mama Times

I admit to being at my wit's end recently... with a certain toddler, who is repeatedly making his mark on Gasperini-Ville. Boy do I love my T-baby, but *boy* has he pushed my buttons over the past few days!!!

"And what could such a sweet cherub have done to get his mama's goat so badly?" You ask.

*Was it the shaken waterbottle of orange gatorade, splashed all over the living room carpet... twice?

*Was it the umpteenth bowl of food dumped off the highchair and onto the floor?

*Was it the flooded bathroom that resulted from secret, behind-mommy's-back cupfuls of water dashed overboard while in the tub?

*Was it the naked pee-pee job done on mommy's newly-laundered duvet cover?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And that would be a YES!

Yet when I found myself ready to blow my top yesterday after one of T's antics, I was instead completely humbled. There he sat, sweet and smiling, with the ashen cross on his forehead from Ash Wednesday Mass. Here was my precious T-baby, in all his toddler glory, with an outward sign of being absolutely adored by his Heavenly Father. T was loved, coddled, and even forgiven in the worst of his moments, just like the rest of us.

Rather than yell, I brought him to me, talked to him, and loved him, just like our Lord does with us every day.

Good times for a little mama Lenten reflection. Gotta love that humility--thank you, Lord!

Hope your season of Lent has gotten off to a blessed start...

God bless you!

The Daddy Tax

As GG passed pieces of cut pear to a waiting M last night at dinner, he took a large bite from the top of each one. "GG!" I cried, "Don't take his food!"

GG smiled back and stated emphatically, "Didn't your dad ever take overly large bites from your ice cream cone? That's The Daddy Tax. It's part of the deal."

I just had to laugh.
And then I seemed to remember a Mommy Tax from somewhere in my past.
If not, I'm definitely inventing it.
Particularly with children's french fries.

God bless you!

Parenting

I was venting (more like whining :) to GG last night about the frustrations of motherhood, particularly the itsy bitsy annoyances of my past day with the kids. My biggest point in the whole discussion was my exasperation about the lack of feedback there is for mothers. My whole life I've grown up with some sort of measure of how I'm doing--report cards in school, work evaluations in the classroom, etc. I like doing things well (who doesn't?) and want to know if I'm getting there.

"What am I doing right?" and "What could I be doing differently to improve?"--just two questions I would BEG of my children (or someone) to answer! I need the Supernanny to come to my home and analyze my mothering!! :) lol. Really, though, how great it would be to have some sort of feedback!

And then it hit me, amidst the questions and wondering, confusion and frustration, my cherubs DO offer feedback. They let me know what's good and effective, what's loving and nurturing...

They smile. They hug. They giggle.
And that's about the best feedback a mother could ask for. :)

Thank you, Lord, for the precious ways my children say "good job, Mom" in our day-to-day.
God bless you on this Thursday.

Fight or Flight

Pardon me if my mama instincts flare up during the writing of this post... :)

Yesterday, one of my brood became threatened and I was ready to take on the world! Mad mad!! My sister and I were happily chatting at Chick-Fil-A, watching our boys in the play area through the glass (minus T-baby, who was at home napping). M so enjoyed romping and climbing with his cousins. The playground is set as a faux rain forest with a tree to climb and slides within the plastic canopy. Very cool. M always has a great time playing there and never wants to leave...

So, my story begins with an initial altercation where M came down the slide, crying and saying that someone had hit him. I consoled his tears and he was soon up and running, playing as if nothing had happened.

Only a few minutes later, my sister and I watched as M ascended the tree (as he had done 100 times already) when out of the blue one of the children started to kick him!! My sister and I saw it at the same time--M bent over in the tree while the little child sent kick after kick into his ribs! I was appalled... We started shouting at the child through the glass, watching as the kid then went after him to bite him in the back!!!!! Okay, now my anger was palpable. How DARE this little 4-year-old threaten my sweet (and apparently innocent) M. We ran in and quickly rescued my completely unraveled, tearful boy.

The culprit--an adorable, pink-clad GIRL. What a toughie she was. In the midst of it all, her mother appeared, scolding her daughter for "hitting" (she obviously hadn't witnessed the event!) and made her give an apology. It was all I could do to prevent myself from opening up to both daughter and mother... This little girl had threatened my poor baby. And to top it off, the mother never looked me in the eye and offered a very half-hearted "sorry" over her shoulder as they walked out of the play area.

What???? I wish I could beam myself to that moment and help the woman understand what her daughter had done!! The whole scene makes me seriously reconsider many of the thoughts I've had about sending my child to school! I know that's taking things a little far, BUT having one's child in school is subjecting them to the result of other people's poor parenting. Yuck!! Definitely a thought to consider down the road...

So there's a little taste of my sympathetic nervous system to excite your day!!
I now understand why mothers, in the thick of things, can do amazing feats.

Who wants to arm wrestle? I'm ready!
Oh I know, settle down, B-mama, and have some grace! God's been after me about that since...! Pesky Lord.:)

Thanks for listening and stick up for the innocent today, okay? God Bless!

Joy in my Heart

I couldn't help but lose it a little today when seeing the woman in front of us at church weep during the singing of the Psalm. It is very common for me to get emotional when others are emotional!

In her arms, she held a precious baby.
And though I could be wrong, I have every reason to believe this baby was her newly adopted child.

As I shed tears with her, I imagined the joy she felt upon finally getting to hold a baby belonging to her.
I contemplated the pain she'd overcome after years of infertility, seeing as she and her husband had no other children. I watched the apparent joy on the faces of her sister, her mother-in-law, and extended family. They would occasionally look over at her and smile, seeming to revel in the sight of her and her child.

Though these thoughts were merely my perception, I rejoiced nonetheless and shed tears right along with her. Above all, it was a beautiful image of the sweet union between mother and child.

Hallelujah, hallelujah.
A child has come home.

I hope oneday GG and I will have the opportunity to open our home and hearts to adoption.
What a blessing that would be...

May God bless your Lord's Day. Hugs :)

(As an additional aside, enjoy this article -- a mother's marveling at the blessing of children. LOVE Danielle Bean!)

Women and The Church

Many moons ago, when GG and I were on our second date (the one in NYC to visit the Rockefeller Christmas tree), we stopped in Times Square to eat at local burger and cheesecake joint. And what did we talk about, you ask? But of course, women in the front lines of the military. Common second-date conversation. :)

Geoff was against it. I (the closet feminist) was for it. My argument: If a woman could meet a man's physical standards, she deserved to fight right alongside him. Oh how my opinion has changed... Good, old Catholic Church. :)

Our Catholic women's Bible study has been delving into Full of Grace: Women and the Abundant Life by Johnnette S. Benkovic and have been loving what we're learning. What a powerful study (warning--don't pick it up unless you're ready to have your world appropriately rocked! That good!) We've been discussing the *power* of women in their vocation as mother and wife. Yes, that's right--POWER as tender, loving, prayerful mothers and wives. WOW! What a difference from what the world teaches us.

Pope Paul VI and various cardinals addressed this issue in their message To Women following the Second Vatican Council in 1965:
"But the hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence... Pass onto your sons and daughters the traditions of your fathers at the same time that you prepare them for an unsearchable future. "

So, according to the Church, it is in embracing our femininity and maternal vocation that we truly attain power and influence. [Versus the world's idea of women achieving power by making themselves like and equal to men.]

And it is in our feminine splendor that God set women apart from men: to experience childbearing, to nurture her children, to pray fervently for her family, to serve (often behind the scenes) without expectation of gratitude, to be like the Blessed Mother in her devotion to Christ.

I am so proud to be a woman.
I am so glad not to be on the front lines of the military (even if I can beat any boy in the 2-mile, anytime. ;)
I believe women serve our world best by fulfilling their natural, God-given vocation.

Though you may not agree, thanks for listening and God bless your evening.

The rest of the truth

"Dear Lord, thank you for making me a mother. I love these little souls you have entrusted to my care. I love their unconditional love, their ready forgiveness, their sweetness, their innocence. Help me to remember the unique and infinite value of each of my children, even when they overwhelm me. Even when they frustrate me. Even when they try my patience in a thousand different ways. In moments of anxiety and weakness, remind me always to turn to you. Give me peace and strength that can only come from you... Amen."

-Mom to Mom, Day to Day: Advice and Support for Catholic Living by Danielle Bean

While Gasperini-Ville appears to be all smiles and cheer lately, I have to admit to some pretty rough days as a mother of two small children and another in utero (causing me ample "suffering" throughout the day). The bottom line: we are in a really tough stage where both boys are continuing to grow and NEED and are able to offer little help to their first trimester mama! I'd have to say, Monday was one of our worst days on record--child and mama behavior, alike. By the time GG came home, I was a wreck and needed a break!

Praise God for a *wonderful* and escaping coffee date with my dear friend, Catherine. GG set it up, calling her hubby and asking if his wife could go out with me. How sweet! And I needed it so... :) We had a grand time and C lent me a book I quoted above. What solace and insight! I have been consuming it since... and feeling much better.

And not that we haven't had our hang-ups, but sometimes its nice to know one is not alone in the mothering world; that things are frustrating, challenging, overwhelming and often! Sometimes I wish society was as it was eons ago when people lived in hunter/gatherer societies. Even women then needed each other to commiserate with and support one another! It's no wonder they didn't want to head out and hunt meat. They had too much to talk about! :)

Glad to fill you in on the latest. No facades here in Gasperini-Ville.
God bless your Wednesday!

For all the pregos in my life

There are so many of you these days... Kellie, Katrina, Linley, Kerri-Lynn, Maureen, Sally, Libby, Amy, Jessica, Blair, and others that I'm not yet allowed to mention (wink, wink!) :) God bless you all.

Looks like He already has. What a wonderful gift to all the pregnant women out there.

Almost makes me want to join the club again.

Almost. ;)

Alpha vs. Slacker

Constantly beating yourself up about your mothering skills? Yes.

Feel like you're never doing as good a job as the next mom? Yes.

Well, the Today Show has your answers!

In a Friday report, Meredith Vieira described a growing trend in the mommying community to classify mothers as either Alpha or Slacker. "Alpha" moms are "type A" mothers, catering to details and perfection in the raising of their children. "Slacker" moms, on the other hand, are more laid-back, hands-on mothers, who can't find matching socks for their children and really don't care.

My response: Why are we always trying to pin labels on our lapels? Can't I just go one day without having to self-analyze and critique my way of doing things? That's not to mention that I would NEVER EVER place the word "mother" and "slacker" in the same sentence. At its grass roots, motherhood is an all-out marathon race. I never met a marathoner who was a slacker!

Gosh, this whole report unnerved me so... Can't we just mother and not be bothered? Or maybe this just annoys me because it hits on some of my personal mommy vulnerabilities. Remember that perfectionism? Well, despite being over it, I do covet it occasionally.

I took a quiz online to determine what kind of mother I was (falling complete victim to aforementioned labeling) and apparently, I'm "alpha". But I would disagree... I'm more dynamic than that.

No one can label me!
And especially don't ever call me a slacker...
or call any of my mothering friends slackers either!
We work way too hard!!

Cherubic Cherabim

I have been quite selfish lately, posting solely about myself. What's gotten into this mama?

It's almost as if by having so much fun, I've forgotten about the kids. Definitely not the case. Can you forget a baby when he naps a total of 20 minutes in a day? 2o min! Not 200, which is the usual. Can you forget a toddler when he smiles like this amidst a Papa pool extravaganza?

One of my favorite gems of last night's girly chatter happened on the car ride home when Mimi and her friend, Judy, commented that "hope springs eternal" when it comes to kids. Whatever the future might appear to be for one's children, there's always hope. Even the most upsetting start to life might prove to shape a child and make him a better and more upstanding adult. Hallelujah.

What hope it brought to this mother, at least.

Hope springs eternal. God is good that way.

Happy Lord's Day to you. God bless.

A shout out to mothers

On this Mother's Day, I pay tribute to all the incredible mothers out there, including myself! Yes, this is a partially selfish pat on the back, but I think we deserve it.

Today I've been reflecting on how quickly my home turns to "ruin" despite all my motherly efforts at keeping it clean. Last night the G's (GG and I) enjoyed a relaxed evening, taking in dinner and a bottle of champagne graciously given to us for our anniversary. We "drank" in the peacefulness of the evening and lounged, easing up on the tight rein we had on the home...

Only to awake this morning to the *nightmare* that was our kitchen, living room, etc. All the mothers out there know what I'm talking about. I commented to GG how amazing it is that for the 100% of time invested to maintain the home, it takes only a tenth of that for it to return to chaos. That means for every half hour I clean, the kids and family can have my home undone in 3 minutes. 3 minutes! What a differential!! And to think this is an ongoing battle...

So, yes, today is a day to celebrate all the mothers of the world, who battle daily the clean home differential; who strive to keep dishes washed, floors sparkling (or at least, swept!), clothes clean, children kempt, husbands fed, and homes blessed. God bless you!!

We are pretty amazing, don't you think?!